Just be warned, I will be making this blog post as dramatic as possible.
So, a few weeks ago I had was one of the worst days of my New York City life. UGH. My wallet was stolen. Where was my wallet? In my heavy winter coat pocket. Where was said heavy winter coat? On me. I was still wearing it. Where was I wearing said heavy winter coat? In a Starbucks on a lunchbreak from my job at 3:45pm on a Saturday while I was reading. WHOA! PARTY GIRL! How reckless can I be, right?! I totally should have seen that one coming. Stranger Danger!
Let me just lay out all the facts. Aside from the entire month of January not being the greatest of months so far, my keys and the keys for the woman I babysit for were attached to that wallet. My ID, my credit card, my debit card, my insurance cards, my NiteHawk cinema gift card which still had 50% of it's initial value, an un-cashed paycheck, my special migraine aromatherapy jar, $6 in cash for laundry and a crapload of my stupid expensive business cards were in that wallet. Those business cards are super embarrassing! They have my face on them because, ya know, I'm an actor and just, ugh, how vain is that? Like, I know this robber is a jerk but I don't want him to think I'm obsessed with myself!
Initially after realizing my wallet was stolen I wasn't even going to call the police. I mentioned something to the manager and she urged me to call 911. I didn't want to distract the wonderful NYPD from saving some jerk from beating an old lady or something on the street, but suddenly a notification from my bank popped up. Fraud Alert! This creep was out spending my money at that exact moment and I can guarantee you he was trying to spend more than I even had to spend. I immediately called the police because oh, it was on Mr. Robber Man. Side Note: Before anyone accuses me of being sexist, I am 100% certain it was a man who stole my wallet.
Now I've since calmed my passion for unattainable justice and am proud to say I've handled things pretty well. I mean, yes I called my mom to bitch three times within four hours. Duh I posted a facebook status about it so all my friends would make me feel better. And why wouldn't I pretend like the universe was against me and trying to teach me some lesson that I obviously haven't learned yet? (Though I'm pretty sure it could find an easier effin way to impart this lesson if it really wanted to.) But I also filed a police report, had a rational discussion with the cops about the likelihood of getting it back (zilch), called my bank and filed the report, left messages with a detective, emailed my manager about getting a replacement paycheck, and contacted the MVA for an appointment. I didn't want to give up my Maryland license but I figured it's time. It's actually really breaking my heart a little bit. Oh, and I also called my hasidicly Jewish landlord (down with political correctness) about 12 times in 30 minutes forgetting that he was observing Sabbath. (If you're reading this Mike, I am SO deeply sorry- I just had roommates moving in from Rhode Island the next day and desperately needed assurance that I could get in to my place somehow!)
So, if you're still taking your time to read this post about the worst day of my life, thank you. If you're a person with much more serious problems than me please know I am writing this from a sorta satirical standpoint. Regardless, here's the whole point of this blog post:
All The Ways To Be Optimistic About Having My Wallet Stolen
- This total mess of a day made me think more on my feet than I've had to in a long time. One of my friends on Facebook posted on my status “Just remember, all this insanity is material for actors.” It may be a stretch at optimism, but I'll take it.
- I was inspired to write because of all my adrenaline. Do you know how hard it is for me to be inspired to write? I would so rater put on a movie and pretend to stretch for 13 hours then ever sit down to type. But here I am, and it feels great. Right after I finish this post I'm going to write a sketch, and writing a sketch, according to my 6-month plan, was suppose to have happened last month. Back on track!
- Maybe having my wallet stolen was suppose to snap me into letting myself take more serious risks; To lose control and improvise a bit more with the way my career is headed. I had to improvise a lot today, my favorite being the way I found to treat myself. Instead of using the $4 my co-worker lent me to pay for the subway ride home, I jumped the turnstile and spent the money on a huge variety pack of incense instead. I'm really big on aromatherapy.
- Thank GOD I splurged at Nitehawk Cinema instead of trying to suck my gift card for as many movie tickets as it was worth. I even spent the extra $1 to get caramelized onions on my veggie burger. Clever girl.
- Maybe Mr. Robber Man is a casting director and will see my business cards and be like “Egads- she's the girl I've been looking for! Get Martin on the line. I've found his leading lady.” Or maybe he'll at least join my mailing list and follow me on twitter (@LaurenSleigh)
But in all seriousness...if anyone wants to send me a Nitehawk gift card I'm not not too proud to accept it... This is one of the most devastating losses for me.